The frenzy, hype, lopsided thinking, hypnotic beliefs, crazy and weird actions, ecstasy, media adverts, campaigns, and societal noise surrounding Valentine’s Day (every February 14th of each year) need proper perspective and situational balance among different classes of people, especially among teenagers, students, youths, and couples.
A sizeable percentage of individuals have experienced the bitter, sour, unpalatable, lamentable, regrettable, and gory side of love in their relationships. These people believe that love is a total scam. How can you explain or pacify a man who witnessed his wife’s infidelity with another man in their neighbourhood? Can you convince a man otherwise that love is not a scam when he has spent lavishly on a lady who later eloped with another man? Many women have experienced the serial cheating of their husband, partner, or supposed lovebird, leaving them betrayed, heartbroken, emotionally distraught, and deeply hurt.
Love Is A Scam: Real-Life Stories And Lessons
Love can be a beautiful emotion, but it can also be manipulated and exploited for personal gain. Many individuals have fallen victim to scams disguised as love, resulting in financial loss and emotional turmoil.
Consider Ada, a successful businesswoman who met a charming man online. He promised marriage and persuaded her to invest in his “business,” only to vanish after receiving millions of her money, leaving her devastated.
Similarly, James, a young professional, fell for a woman who claimed to be in need of financial assistance. Despite his repeated financial support, he later discovered she was part of a romance scam syndicate.
These cases shed light on the dangers of love scams, where trust is abused for selfish motives. The key takeaway is to be vigilant, especially when it comes to financial matters in relationships, and to verify the intentions of others. Love should bring joy, not harm.
If you have been a victim of a love scam, remember that it is not your fault. Take the opportunity to learn, heal, and move forward. Love itself is not a scam, but scammers often use it as a tool for deception. Stay informed and protect yourself.
Scammers often target individuals seeking love and companionship, exploiting their emotions for financial gain. Here are real-life examples illustrating the dangers of love scams and the lessons they impart.
Case 1: The Widow’s Deception
Mrs. Kehinde, a widow, fell for an online “businessman” who claimed to be working abroad. He manipulated her emotions, convincing her to invest ₦5 million in a fake opportunity. When she realized she had been scammed, she lost not only her savings but also her faith in love.
Lesson: Loneliness can make people vulnerable, but genuine love does not come with financial demands. Always verify identities before committing financially.
Case 2: The Young Lover’s Betrayal
David, a software developer, was deceived by a woman he met on Instagram who constantly asked for money under the guise of family emergencies. When he tried to meet her in person, she disappeared, leaving him with a loss of ₦1.2 million.
Lesson: Be wary of online relationships where meeting in person is avoided. Scammers exploit emotional connections for financial gain.
Case 3: The Married Man’s Regret
Mr. Ade engaged in an affair with a younger woman from a dating app who manipulated him into draining his savings on gifts and expenses. When he discovered her deceit, his life was shattered.
Lesson: Infidelity and secret affairs often lead to disaster. Stay loyal to those who genuinely care for you.
The Ultimate Lesson: Love Wisely
Love should bring joy, not financial ruin or emotional distress. If a relationship focuses on money, excuses, or manipulation, it’s likely a scam. Protect yourself by trusting your instincts, avoiding sending money to strangers, and verifying identities before committing.
Love is not a scam, but some individuals exploit it for personal gain. Stay vigilant and prioritize your safety in relationships. Love scams are increasingly common, causing financial and emotional harm to victims. Here are more real-life cases that highlight the need for caution in relationships.
Case 4: Grace, a banker, was scammed by a fake military officer who disappeared after she sent him money for a house.
Lesson: Verify identities and never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
Case 5: Daniel fell for a woman at work who used him for financial gain, leading to heartbreak.
Lesson: Be wary of those who only value you for material benefits.
Case 6: Michael trusted a pastor’s daughter who took advantage of his generosity and married someone else.
Lesson: Don’t make sacrifices for someone without ensuring their intentions are genuine.
Case 7: Tunde was deceived by a girlfriend who faked a pregnancy to extort money from him.
Lesson: True love doesn’t involve manipulation and financial deception.
To Avoid Love Scams:
1. Be cautious of extravagant gestures from strangers.
2. Don’t send money to unverified individuals.
3. Guard against loneliness driving you into scams.
4. Verify identities and backgrounds before trusting.
5. Beware of constant financial requests in relationships.
Protect yourself, stay vigilant, and prioritize trust in relationships. Love should enrich your life, not deplete it. Stay alert to red flags and prioritize genuine connections built on trust, not deceit.
Love has become excessively transactional these days. For many young people, sex is equated with love. Let’s educate our children and young adults about the true meaning of authentic love. Love is worth celebrating just as much as abstaining from premarital or illicit sex is worth it. I believe it is important to promote love in the way we desire it. The true essence of Valentine’s Day is love. Real love is about unconditional giving, not transactional exchanges.
What Is Love?
Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it does not dishonour others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice. It’s a choice to be patient when others are hurried. It’s a choice to be kind when the world seems unkind. Love doesn’t envy or compare; it simply rejoices in the blessings of others. Love doesn’t boast or puff itself up; it remains humble. Seeking not to elevate itself, but to lift others. Love is not selfish; it doesn’t dishonor, belittle, or manipulate. It honours, values, and respects. Love is sacrifice and constant devotion. Love is the reason someone stays when you are in your worst moments and seasons. Love is someone who puts and holds you together when you are falling apart. Love is someone who takes a part of them to repair your broken self. Love is someone who lifts you up with kind words when all you could see are flaws and mistakes. Love is someone whose business could not stop them from giving you the attention you need. Love is action!
What Is Not Love?
There are various shades, situations, scenarios, and shenanigans that primarily revolve around dishonesty and cheating among couples and partners in relationships. Covering up your secret and habitual extra-marital affairs and unrepentant sexual infidelity escapades with cunning cleverness, chronic lies, hypocrisy, and sophisticated pretenses clearly shows that you are not genuinely in love with your spouse or partner. Sexual activity is not love. Sending or forwarding your nude pictures or videos to someone you like or have strong affinity for is not an act of love, but rather complete foolishness and stupidity on your part. Words and promises are not love. Exchanging flirtatious lines and sentences is not love. Dating is not love. Choosing to communicate with someone almost every day is not love. Revealing all my faults, inadequacies, mistakes, errors, and failures to the public is not love. Comparing your spouse or partner to your ex-lover is not love. In fact, this negative behaviour undermines the essence of healthy relationships. Lastly, not forgiving your spouse is not love. Forgiving past hurts can be extremely difficult. It is said that the best relationship is when yesterday’s argument does not hinder today’s communication.
Controlling behaviour, jealousy, possessiveness, emotional manipulation, lack of respect, constant criticism, neglecting needs, physical or emotional abuse, and using someone for personal gain are not love.
However, the kleptomaniac culture exhibited by economic and political office holders, involving massive stealing from public funds and taxpayers’ commonwealth to set up businesses that employ members of the public, is not love. Stealing or mismanagement in any form from our common patrimony is not love. Financial corruption of any shade is synonymous with expressing direct or indirect hatred to kill and destroy the system, firm, company, or institution you are stealing from. Don’t hypocritically claim to love your school, company, firm, corporation, institution, or nation while you are continually stealing from it. Stop it today!
Celebrate Love Every Day, Not Just On February 14th
Love should be cherished and celebrated daily, not just on Valentine’s Day. While February 14th is known as a day for love, true relationships thrive on consistent acts of love, care, and appreciation every day.
Instead of waiting for a special occasion to show love, make it a daily practice. Small gestures like kind messages, surprises, and quality time can strengthen relationships more than grand gestures or expensive gifts.
True love is shown through daily support, respect, and affection, not just on one day of the year. Make every day a celebration of love by being genuine, selfless, and consistent in your expressions of love. When love is a daily practice, relationships flourish, and happiness becomes a way of life, not just a yearly event.
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